When Everything Breaks at Once…and You Don’t - Part 1
There are seasons in life where it feels like everything is happening at once.
Not the good kind of everything.
Not the “busy but blessed” kind.
The kind where you sit back for a second and think…
This is too much for one person.
And yet — here you are.
Still standing.
---
I paid another $10,000 for a lawyer.
Not because I wanted to.
Not because I had it sitting around waiting to be spent.
But because I am still fighting for what I am owed —
while a man who once stood beside me chooses silence, avoidance, and excuses.
And the noise doesn’t even come from him.
- -
It comes from the sidelines.
Emails. Calls. Interference.
People who were never part of the agreement, never part of the responsibility —
but somehow feel entitled to step in and create chaos.
My lawyer told them exactly where to go.
And for once, that felt good.
---
But here’s the part no one sees.
While they play games.
I’ve been sitting in doctor’s offices.
Late last year, I had cancer removed from my face.
I thought that was it for a while.
I thought maybe — just maybe — that chapter was closed.
But nope.
Over the last couple of months, I’ve gone through multiple rounds of biopsies… on two separate occasions.
And sure enough — it strikes again.
This time, I won’t even know the full story until surgery.
Whether it’s growing from the outside in…
or the inside out.
---
Let that sit with you for a second.
Because I had to.
---
And then…
I lost someone.
A good friend.
One of the few people I trusted.
The kind of person you don’t have to explain yourself to.
The kind who sees you clearly — and stays.
And now he’s gone.
Cancer again.
It’s not just grief.
It’s anger.
It’s disbelief.
This is so unfair.
---
And still — life doesn’t paus
I’m preparing to let go of the life I’ve been holding together.
Making decisions that don’t just affect me—but the people I love, too.
The details are still unfolding.
But one thing is clear
I’m not staying stuck.
---
So here’s the truth.
This season?
It’s not fair.
It’s not easy.
It’s not something I would ever choose.
But it is mine.
---
And here’s what I know:
I am not waiting anymore.
Not for closure.
Not for payment.
Not for someone else to suddenly do what they should have done all along.
I am moving forward anyway
---
This isn’t a story about things working out perfectly.
This is a story about choosing yourself
when everything around you feels like it’s falling apart.
---
If you’re in a season like this…
Where everything feels stacked against you,
where people disappoint you,
where life hits harder than it should—
Hear me when I say this:
You are not weak for feeling it.
But you are powerful for continuing anyway.
---
I don’t know exactly how this ends yet.
But I do know this:
I’m still here.
Still fighting.
Still moving.
And somewhere in the middle of all of this…
something in me started to shift.
--
Song Pairing:
The Fighter – Keith Urban & Carrie Underwood ; The Fighter • Keith Urban, Carrie Underwood
Reflection Prompt:
Where in your life are you still waiting for something — or someone — that may never come?
What would it look like to move forward anyway?
All our Love,
Stacey and Cannoli
