Living in the In-Between
04 Sep 2025
I’m at a place where I really don’t know what the future holds. There are so many plans in my head, so many things I want to do, and yet everything feels paused — half-finished, half-waiting.
My business is ready. All it takes is one signature to make the license official. But I’ve been holding back, leery of stepping forward before the divorce is finalized, worried about income and the weight of bills. That hesitation trickles into other parts of my life too. My house reflects it — projects left midstream. A bathroom standing half-demoed. An upstairs patio waiting to be transformed into a reprieve filled with flowers, a pergola, cozy furniture, and a fireplace. A downstairs bathroom that needs finishing. Saltillo tiles that are begging to be cleaned and sealed. The vision is there. The plans are there. But I’m still waiting for the right time to move forward.
And then there’s the personal side. I’m still figuring me out. Do I accept that this is it — just me, alone for the rest of my life — or do I hold space for something more? Emotionally, I feel like I’m getting to a better place. My head feels clearer. But part of me wonders if it’s clarity or just a clever way of blocking certain things, keeping myself from fully feeling them. I’m good at that — too good sometimes.
But maybe this is what this season is supposed to look like. A pause. A half-finished chapter. A moment to breathe in the middle space before deciding what comes next. The house will get finished. The tiles will shine. The business will launch. And I will keep walking forward, one step at a time, toward whatever future is waiting for me.
For now, I’m learning to live in the in-between — not rushing, not forcing, just trusting that the unfinished parts of life don’t make me incomplete. They simply mean the story isn’t over yet.
🌿 Reflection
Sometimes waiting feels like wasted time, but maybe it’s really a mirror. In the pause, I start to notice the thoughts I avoid, the emotions I push down, and the resilience I didn’t realize I had. Waiting reveals my impatience, but it also uncovers my endurance. It forces me to sit with myself when there’s no distraction of “what’s next” — and in those quiet moments, I learn who I am without the noise of constant forward motion.
Maybe the gift of waiting is not just patience, but clarity. It’s in the stillness that I can hear my own voice a little more clearly, and it’s in that space that I can begin to choose what I really want — not just what comes next.
✨ Blog Prompt
“What does waiting teach me about myself?”
🎶 Spotify
When Change Knocks at Every Corner
31 Aug 2025:
Today was one of those days that seemed to stretch endlessly, filled with tasks, conversations, and reflections. I started in the yard, pulling weeds and picking up the clutter that somehow always seems to gather faster than I can clear it. From there, it was on to the pool — my ongoing “green to blue” project. I repaired some leaking pump parts, hoping this time it holds steady.
In the middle of all of that, I took the Harley for a quick ride. It hadn’t been moved in a long while, and it was tucked away on the back patio. Just feeling the rumble of the engine reminded me how long it’s been since I gave myself the freedom of the open road.
Later in the day, I caught up with an old co-worker who had left for a new opportunity. It was good to hear her voice and see how her life has been unfolding. But then I got news from another co-worker — someone who soon won’t be part of the company anymore. That one hit harder. He’s a great employee, a genuinely good person, and someone I will truly miss working alongside.
It seems life is constantly moving us through seasons of change. Some changes we anticipate and even welcome — like finally fixing that leaky pump or moving the Harley to where it belongs. But others arrive without warning, reshaping our daily lives in ways we never imagined. This year has been a whirlwind of unexpected turns for me, and truthfully, I feel very ready for it to pause.
Yet, change rarely waits for our readiness. It challenges us, stretches us, and sometimes wears us down. But it also reminds us that nothing stays the same forever — not the weeds in the yard, not the pool water, not the people who pass through our lives. Maybe the best we can do is hold on to the moments, appreciate the constants we do have, and keep finding small ways to move forward through it all.
✨ Reflection Prompt:
Think about a recent change in your life — whether big or small. How did it challenge you, and what hidden strength did you discover in yourself because of it?
🎵 Spotify Track Pairing: Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
Much Love,
Stacey
When Enough Feels Like Enough
29 Aug 2025
It’s been a week since I last wrote, and today I can feel the weight of that gap. The truth is, I’ve been tired. Not the kind of tired that a nap fixes — but soul tired. The kind of tired that comes from giving and giving until there’s nothing left, and realizing that no one ever really shows up for you in return.
I’m annoyed — annoyed at the constant interference of others in my divorce, annoyed at a husband who threw away a marriage for people who only want to take from him, annoyed at the way it feels like I’ve been left holding everything while everyone else feeds on the pieces.
And beneath that annoyance sits something heavier: I feel used. Over and over again, I’ve poured into people who only ever took. And now? I feel sick of it all. I feel like I just want to withdraw completely, to close the door on everyone and stay there, because at least then the hurt would be quieter.
But withdrawal isn’t only about shutting people out — sometimes it’s about finally choosing yourself. Sometimes it’s about saying, “Enough. I won’t keep bleeding for people who never stop cutting.”
I don’t know if I’m ready to rise above these feelings yet, but I do know this: it’s okay to say you’re done being used. It’s okay to admit that sometimes, it feels like no one gives a damn. And it’s okay to step back until you feel safe enough to come forward again.
Reflection Prompt
When was the last time you realized you were giving far more than you were receiving? How did you respond — and what would it look like if you chose yourself this time?
Closing Thought
It’s not weakness to want to withdraw — it’s self-preservation. Protecting your heart is the first step to rebuilding it.
Suggested Song Pairing
🎵 “Creep” by Radiohead
Much Love,
Stacey
Building Boards, Breaking Illusions
23 Aug 2025:
Today I wrestled with myself. I wanted to find something fun to do, but Albuquerque was quiet—no real events pulling me outside. I thought about going horseback riding or renting an ATV to roam the trails, but decided that would be better saved for when my girlfriends are here for the Balloon Festival.
Instead, I channeled my energy into a project I’ve been putting off: building my own headboard. A trip to Lowe’s for materials turned into an adventure in itself, and I spent most of the afternoon learning how to cut 45-degree angles for the molding. For a first attempt, it turned out pretty good. The project kept my hands busy, even if it couldn’t quite silence the thoughts swirling in my mind.
Reflection
As I worked, I thought about the massive headboard I left behind in Florida—the beautiful frame and footboard I searched so long for. Kenny had driven me all over Jacksonville and Saint Augustine in search of the perfect set, one that would work for him, too, given his mobility needs. After weeks of looking, we found it. It became a symbol of building a home together.
And now it sits in Florida, in a house that isn’t my home anymore. For all I know, another woman could be sleeping in that big, beautiful bed with my husband. It’s a brutal realization, how life can shift so suddenly, and how words—those three little words spoken every day—can be proven empty.
What I’m left with now is a new kind of construction: identifying and classifying. Who in my life truly considers me? Who has, and who still does? It’s overdue, but necessary.
Quote of the Day
“Sometimes you don’t realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness.” – Susan Gale
Journal Prompt
Think about one object from your past—a piece of furniture, clothing, or even a photo—that carries deep meaning. What story does it hold, and what emotions rise when you revisit it?
Spotify Song Pairing
🎵 “The Story” by Brandi Carlile
Much Love,
Stacey
Day 24: Quiet Accomplishments & The Social Reset
22 Aug 2025
Today was productive in a quiet, steady way. I finished some much-needed SOP revisions for work, attended Day 3 of the Unstoppable Summit, and even signed up for November’s “Unleash the Power Within” with Tony Robbins and Sage. That in itself felt like planting a future flag—something big to look forward to.
I also picked up my laptop from Best Buy (after the screen was ruined on my NY flight) and managed to get grocery shopping done. Honestly, leaving the house was an accomplishment, since I hadn’t been out since last Friday. Sometimes even those little errands feel like bigger victories than they should.
It was otherwise a quiet day—no news, no drama. And while they say “no news is good news,” the quiet can feel a bit lonely, too.
Reflection
Lately, I’ve noticed my natural introverted side edging into isolation. Staying home feels comfortable and safe, but it also makes the silence louder. It got me wondering: should I set a plan to get out of the house, at least once mid-week? Something small, like a class, a coffee shop night, or even just a walk downtown.
Because as much as I recharge in solitude, I also crave those little sparks of connection—the smile from a stranger, a random conversation, or simply the reminder that life is still happening outside my four walls.
The Social Reset Plan
- One mid-week outing. Nothing fancy—just consistent.
- Keep it low-pressure. It could be a coffee shop, a meetup, or a short volunteer shift.
- Reassess after a month. See if it lightens the weight of loneliness and adds balance.
It’s not about forcing extroversion; it’s about protecting myself from isolation.
Quote of the Day
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne Lamott
Journal Prompt
What small step could you add to your week that feels like a reset—not overwhelming, just a gentle nudge back into connection?
Spotify Song Pairing
🎵 “Brave” by Sara Bareilles — an uplifting push to take that small step outside your comfort zone.
Much Love,
Stacey
Day 23: Relationships and Loneliness- Navigating Self-Discovery
21 Aug 2025
Today was full — not just with tasks, but with thoughts and truths that aren’t always easy to face.
I worked, as usual, but I also showed up for myself in a new way today. I attended Day 2 of the Unstoppable Summit and completed a vulnerable assignment: film a short clip naming what I want to fix in my life. I chose relationships. Not just the ones I’ve had or hope to have, but the way I show up in them. I admitted—out loud—that I can be my own worst enemy. That before I can build something lasting with someone else, I have to do some renovating on the inside.
Afterward, I did some rearranging at home—physically and emotionally. Shifting energy. Making space. I won’t lie and say I’m not lonely, because I am. Loneliness doesn’t always come crashing in; sometimes it just quietly lingers. But I’m trying hard not to let it steer my choices or cloud my judgment.
I even looked into one of those “eat with strangers” events. Not for dating, but simply to connect—to find people I can have a conversation with, maybe share a meal or a laugh. It’s strange and hopeful all at once, wanting to belong without needing to be needed.
This season is about me choosing not to run from the quiet. It’s about learning to be whole, even when I feel a little empty. And maybe, just maybe, meeting myself with kindness along the way.
It’s not easy admitting the role I’ve played in the gaps I now feel in my life — but I am learning that being honest with myself is the first step. I don’t want to fill space just because I can. I want real connection. I want to be proud of how I spend my time. And I want to be able to say I did the work to heal and grow, even when no one else saw it.
Tonight, I’m choosing myself. I’m learning to let loneliness be an invitation to rediscover who I am becoming. That’s not nothing. That’s a beginning.
💬 Quote of the Day:
“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.” — Steve Maraboli
📝 Reflection Prompt:
What are three small ways I can nurture the relationship I have with myself this week?
🎵 Spotify Song Pairing:
“Rescue Me” — OneRepublic
Much Love,Stacey
Day 22: A Cozy Guide to Doing Almost Nothing (Beautifully)
20 Aug 2025
Some nights wear name tags—birthday night, deadline night, collapse-on-the-couch night. And then there’s tonight: a quiet shrug in a comfy sweater. Not unhappy. Not on fire. Just… here. Hi.
When I can’t name a feeling, I let the data be small and kind:
· Body: a little heavy, like I forgot to take off an imaginary backpack.
· Mind: steady-ish, with one mischievous tab that keeps reopening itself.
· Heart: okay, with tiny chirps of “did we forget something?”
· Social battery: meh—open to a voice note that requires zero reply.
· Room vibe: cozy-adjacent—30 seconds and a candle away from full cozy.
None of this is dramatic. It’s just honest. Which, I’m learning, is plenty.
What I’m letting be true
I can be proud and pouty, tired and tempted to do one more satisfying little thing. I don’t have to earn rest with perfection. Tonight can be simple and still count.
The Gentle Ritual (5 minutes, promise)
1. Pick a verb: rest / tidy / close / create / connect (only one).
2. Match a five-minute action: if it feels good, do five more; if not, gold star for trying—stop.
3. Add 1% cozy: dim a lamp, warm a mug, relocate your phone to a distant habitat (like the sock drawer).
My verb tonight is close.
The half-written email gets its last sentence.
The nomad mug returns to the kitchen.
The sweater stops auditioning for “Chair Pile: The Musical.”
Closing tiny loops tells my nervous system, “We’re landing.”
Evidence of a small, real life
· I watered a plant before it staged a dramatic faint.
· I asked for help and the world did not explode.
· I told my brain, “Thank you, bestie, that’s enough ideas for now,” and it… mostly listened.
Note to Future Me
When your feelings are indecisive, you don’t need a breakthrough—you need a blink. Let the night be soft and slightly silly. Make tea. Put on the good socks. Write two sentences that tell the truth about right now:
Spotify song: “First Day of My Life” — Bright Eyes
First Day of My Life • Bright Eyes
I’m a person who showed up. I’m a little tender and a little sparkly.
That’s more than enough for tonight.
Much love,
Stacey
Day 21: The Quiet Questions
19 Aug 2025:
Most of the day I was okay. Work keeps my brain occupied — there’s no time to drift when deadlines and projects are staring me down. But it’s the quiet time that gets you. That’s when the thoughts sneak in, uninvited.
I catch myself thinking about how much of myself I give — my life, my hopes, my heart — to others, without ever really knowing what they want in return. Sometimes I think they don’t even know what they want.
I’ve started to wonder if most people carry at least two versions of themselves: the one they let you see, the one they polish for the outside world, and the one they keep tucked away, only letting pieces slip when they’re distracted or by mistake. Maybe I see it more clearly because of my own damage, my insecurities that I haven’t quite conquered. Or maybe it’s just the truth of being human.
The thing is, none of us go into relationships — of any kind, whether friendship, family, co-worker, or romantic — thinking, I don’t want to know the real you. If anything, we crave it. We want to know someone’s hopes, dreams, fears, and aspirations. But how do you know when what you’re seeing is real? How do you trust? And more than that — how do you allow yourself to stay open, knowing that the possibility of being wrong, of being hurt, is always there?
These are the questions the quiet brings. And maybe, just maybe, the answers are found in the willingness to keep asking.
The quiet doesn’t always have to be filled with doubt. Sometimes, it can be the space where we learn who we are.
🌿 Reflection Prompt
What version of yourself do you show the world most often? What part of you stays hidden?
✨ Quote
“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.” – Steve Maraboli
🎶 Song Pairing
“Who You Are” – Jessie J
Who You Are • Jessie J
Day 20: Learning Who I Am
18 Aug 2025
I didn’t write the last couple of nights. Life slipped by with a movie night with my son and then simple tiredness that caught up with me. But I don’t like missing days, so tonight I’m writing a bit earlier — no excuses.
The kids are off on the road for a month, living the van life adventure before Britt starts her next assignment. So it’s just Annie and me here at the house. And strangely, I feel better this week. I don’t feel as alone as I did, and I don’t feel as lost in my head. That in itself feels like progress.
I keep reminding myself that I have so much to be thankful for — and maybe I forget that sometimes. Gratitude doesn’t erase the questions I’m asking, though. Questions like: What if I am alone for the rest of my life? What will I do? How will I fill my time when work isn’t enough? What would truly make me happy?
I don’t have all the answers. But maybe that’s not the point. Maybe this is the season to start learning who I really am, beyond work, beyond roles, beyond the noise of everything else. Maybe being “alone” isn’t about being without someone, but about finally getting to know myself.
Tonight reminded me of that in a very real way. I spent time on the phone with my niece, who is raising her children alone. It’s not easy, but she’s working hard and paying her own way — and she’s doing it. That kind of strength inspires me. I also caught up with a very old friend, someone who has known me for more than half his life. He reminded me that I’m not without, that there are so many amazing people in my life. And he’s right. Sometimes I forget, but the truth is I’m never truly alone.
And then, there are the moments that come out of nowhere — reminders of the people I’ve lost. Tonight it was something as simple as a v-neck men’s t-shirt that brought memories of my youngest son flooding in. Even after ten years, it still surprises me how something so small can reduce me to tears. I shared it in a quick message, and was grateful for a call to check in, to make sure I was okay. Some things can only be understood by those who have lived them — and I am thankful for those people, and for the comfort only they can bring.
🌿 Reflection Prompt
When memories surface — joyful or painful — how do you let them remind you of love, rather than only loss?
✨ Quote
“And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?” – Rumi
🎶 Song Pairing
Much Love,
Stacey
DAy 19: Searching for Balance Between Giving and Being
16 Aug 2025:
Last night I didn’t write. I was tired, and if I’m honest, in a mood that wasn’t ready to spill into words. Tonight feels different. The day was spent outside in the heat, helping Neal with the porch, and though I’m worn out, I’m here, showing up to this commitment I made to myself.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my future—the career path I’m stepping into and the personal life I keep trying to figure out. On the professional side, I feel steady. Thanks to the groundwork I’ve laid, the consulting business is ready to launch. My lawyer has confirmed that the dissolution of marriage protects this space as mine, untouched by the past. That piece feels strong, like new boards on a foundation that will hold.
The personal side of me, though, is still tender. People sometimes say I’m guarded, but the truth is I feel too much. I give too much. I let people in with my whole heart, and when the disappointment comes—as it often does—I’m left wondering if I will ever find someone who truly knows how to give back.
I’m not perfect; I have my flaws like everyone else. But I crave the relationship that lasts—the one where communication, honesty, and trust become the glue that holds things together when days aren’t “perfect.” And yet, there’s a quiet voice in me asking: What if it never comes?
If it doesn’t, then I owe it to myself to find a different kind of happiness—the kind that doesn’t depend on someone else’s consistency, but instead on my own ability to nurture me. To, for once, put my needs at the center instead of always putting myself second.
It feels scary, but maybe that’s the work I need to do now. To learn how to “just be.”
✨ Tonight’s Reflection ✨
I have always been guarded, protective of myself. Too many disappointments have left me this way. Yet, here I am, opening myself up to reflection, to healing, to the possibility of love and trust again. This journey is scary, but necessary. It is the path to becoming whole.
Prompt for Reflection
What part of yourself have you been putting second for too long? How would your life shift if you chose to put that part first, even for just one week?
Quote of the Day
"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." – Buddha
🎶 Tonight’s soundtrack: *Unwritten* – Natasha Bedingfield
Day 18 – The Scariest Thing I’ve Ever Written
14 Aug 2025
It’s strange, isn’t it, how the scariest part of writing a blog isn’t worrying about typos or if anyone will read it. The fear comes from knowing that, with each post, I am laying myself bare.
I have always been guarded, protective of myself. Too many disappointments in life have left me this way. I feel—probably too much. I think—probably too much. I love—probably too much. And I give far too much of my power to those who only want to take it and claim it as theirs, rather than honor it, cherish it, or nurture it.
This journey—this exploration of my feelings—is an uncharted path. It’s the attempt to identify, acknowledge, dissect, and hope to come out on the other side intact. It means I have to lay myself open to hear (in my head), see (in my memories and dreams), and feel (in my heart and soul) things I may not always be prepared to hear, see, remember, dream, or feel.
Yet I know there’s an unrelenting need to heal, to come full circle with several chapters of my life, and to finally love me, honor me, know me, and nurture me—before I can be whole.
I hope the broken pieces, the messiness, the chaos, and yes, even the “crazy,” can make it through to the other side. That somehow, all these scattered parts of me will meet again in the middle, not as the same person I once was, but as someone stronger, braver, and more at peace with herself.
🎵 Spotify Pairing: Fix You – Coldplay
https://open.spotify.com/search/Fix%20You%20%E2%80%93%20Coldplay
🖋 Journal Reflection:
- What part of yourself do you guard the most, and why?
- When was the last time you allowed yourself to be completely open, even if it felt uncomfortable?
- If you could speak to the “other side” of your healing journey, what would you hope to hear from yourself?
Much love,
Stacey
Day 17 – In the Quiet
13 Aug 2025
The Spotify song for tonight is one of my all-time favorites — Sound of Silence by Disturbed. Silence has always been, and will always be, my “friend.” If you listen hard enough, and long enough, you’ll realize silence speaks. You can hear the truths between the breaths, the thoughts hidden in the pauses, and the feelings that words can’t quite hold.
There are nights when silence is louder than thunder.
Not the kind of silence that comes from an empty room or a turned-off phone, but the kind that fills the spaces between thoughts — the kind that sits in your chest like a weight you can’t shift.
Sometimes, the most important messages are the ones never spoken. The pause before someone answers. The glance that lingers just a second too long. The way their hands find something else to do instead of meeting yours.
Words can be crafted to hide truths, but silence has no filter. It is a raw, unpolished thing. It tells on us when we try to keep our feelings hidden.
We are taught to listen to words, to wait for explanations, apologies, promises. But life has been teaching me something different — that the signs are always there if you’re willing to notice them.
It’s in the hesitations, the distance that wasn’t there before, the way laughter doesn’t reach someone’s eyes anymore. It’s in the conversations that used to spill into the night but now end before they’ve even begun.
Silence speaks.
It says, I can’t tell you the truth.
It says, I’m not who you think I am anymore.
It says, This is already over, even if I can’t bring myself to say the words out loud.
And maybe the hardest lesson is this: learning to hear it without demanding the sound. To trust yourself enough to read the signs and believe them. To understand that sometimes, protecting your peace means accepting that you’ve already been told everything you need to know — without a single word being said.
🎵 Spotify Pairing:
Disturbed — Sound of Silence
https://open.spotify.com/track/1Cj2vqUwlJVG27gJrun92y
🖋 Journal Reflection:
- Think of a time when someone’s silence told you more than their words.
- What signs did you notice?
- If you had trusted those signs earlier, what might you have done differently?
- How can you better honor your intuition when words and actions don’t align?
—Stacey
Day 16 – A Table Full of Love
12 Aug 2025
Tonight wasn’t about who wasn’t here. It wasn’t about the lies I’ve heard before or the people who mistake my kindness for weakness. Tonight was about us – my amazing son, my beautiful daughter-in-law, and me – sharing a table filled with laughter, food, and the comfort only from being with people who truly love you.
Over glasses of wine and plates we couldn’t stop picking at, we dreamed out loud. We talked about places we’ll travel, the adventures we’ll take, and the memories we’ll make together. No hidden agendas. No unspoken resentments. Just love, loyalty, and excitement for what’s to come.
I realized something tonight — I don’t need anyone but myself, my family, and the peace that comes from knowing my circle is full of truth. My life can be rich with joy, travel, and adventure without the weight of people who lie, manipulate, or betray.
Happiness isn’t a grand gesture. It’s nights like this — planning trips, laughing at inside jokes, and knowing that the people sitting across from you are your safe place in this world.
Prompt: Who in your life can you truly exhale around? How can you create more time with them?
Spotify Link: Carol King, “Where you lead, I will follow”
https://open.spotify.com/track/0APt4t1Dab58sYmGQ4jgij
"A happy life is made of little moments of love that we never forget."
-You are enough!
All my love,
Stacey
The Day My Life Decided to be a Soap Opera… and I Still Laughed
Day 15; 11 Aug 2025
Some days, life plays like a low-budget daytime drama. You know the kind — too many subplots, dramatic pauses in all the wrong places, and that one scene where you actually laugh because, well… what else can you do?
Today had all the makings of an episode I didn’t audition for:
- A house that’s been on the market for months, but now the co-star doesn’t want to sell.
- An unexpected chat with a character from Season 1 (yes, that one).
- A suspiciously dramatic act of destruction involving a vehicle.
- A high-stakes career opportunity making yet another cameo appearance.
The Plot Twist
Here’s the fun part — not all of this is real. Some of it actually happened, some of it I made up, and some of it I’ll never tell.
Why? Because in the middle of the chaos, I realized life is more fun when you leave a little room for mystery.
So, dear reader… can you tell the difference?
Today’s Episode Highlights
🎭 Real estate subplot: Will they sign? Will they stall? Will the “For Sale” sign start growing roots? Stay tuned.
💔 Cameo Appearance: Against all my declarations of “never again,” there we were, having an actual good conversation. No one saw that plotline coming.
🔥 Torched drama: Let’s just say there is a possibility that a certain something had a… fiery exit from the storyline.
💼 Career arc: A Senior Manager role at a dream company popped up again — for the third time. Is this persistence or fate trying to get my attention?
💪 Main character energy: Despite the plot twists, I’m still here. Smiling. Planning. Not just surviving — rewriting the script.
Quote for the Day
“Life may be unpredictable, but so is the moment it all starts going right.”
Your Challenge
Which parts are true? Which are fiction? Which are a blend?
Leave your guesses in the comments — I might just spill the truth in a future episode. Or maybe I’ll add another twist.
Because around here, the only thing you can count on is that the story’s never over.
The Next Chapter – 'Real or Fiction?' Mini-Playlist
The Next Chapter - Real or Fiction? - playlist by The Next Chapter by Stacey | Spotify
Shake It Out – Florence + The Machine
https://open.spotify.com/track/1bM3di89Z9GeV3m9PttCbu
Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson
https://open.spotify.com/track/6JYIg1gY5mVfU6Xr0ov8gK
Unwritten – Natasha Bedingfield
https://open.spotify.com/track/6l8GvAyoUZwWDgF1e4822w
Dog Days Are Over – Florence + The Machine
https://open.spotify.com/track/1YLJVmuzeM2YSUkCCaTNub
Fight Song – Rachel Platten
https://open.spotify.com/track/37f4ITSlgPX81ad2EvmVQr
—Much Love,
Stacey
Day 14 – The Parts We Keep Hidden
10 Aug 2025
There are parts of ourselves we never put on display.
Not because they’re unimportant, but because they’re fragile.
They’re the emotions that catch in our throats, the wants we can barely admit to ourselves, the dreams we tuck away in quiet corners where no one else can touch them. We keep them hidden for many reasons — fear of getting hurt, fear of making a fool of ourselves, lack of confidence, or simply not knowing how to stand open, raw, and vulnerable in front of another person.
Sometimes it’s easier to let the world see only the version of us that’s safe. The version that doesn’t risk rejection. The version that smiles, nods, and keeps the deeper truths locked away.
But I wonder… what would happen if we didn’t?
If we laid it all out there — the messy, unpolished, entirely human parts of us? Would we find more connection, or more pain? Would we be met with understanding, or with silence?
I don’t have the answer yet. I only know that the parts we keep hidden are often the parts that most need to be seen.
Spotify; “All I Want” – Kodaline
Prompt:
What is one part of yourself — a feeling, a dream, a truth — that you’ve kept hidden? What would it take for you to let it be seen?
—Stacey
Day 13 – The Question That Never Really Goes Away
10 Aug 2025
Have you ever had someone who drifts in and out of your life, yet never really leaves it?
No matter how many years pass, or what those years bring, somehow they find a way back in.
You don’t speak the truth of it — not fully. The feelings stay between the lines, unspoken but understood in small moments. Moments when you’re allowed to be there, to show up, to offer a quiet kind of care that doesn’t need words.
And yet, beneath that steady rhythm, there’s a question that won’t go away:
What does this connection truly mean?
Is it comfort, or is it habit?
Is it love, or just the memory of it?
Do we keep letting each other back in because we’re meant to, or because we don’t know how to close the door for good?
I don’t have the answers tonight. I just know that this connection has survived things most relationships can’t. And that alone is enough to keep me wondering.
But how do you decide when it’s time to finally figure it out — to lay all the cards on the table — or to finally walk away? How do you know when the wondering has run its course?
Some days aren’t for sorting it all out.
Some days are for sitting with the questions and letting the answers come in their own time.
Tonight is one of those days.
🎵 Spotify Pairing: “Back to December” – Taylor Swift
Back To December • Taylor Swift
—Stacey
Day 12 – Choosing What to Carry
08 Aug 2025
Some words are heavy. They carry the weight of old memories, old patterns, and the ache of realizing that not everyone sees relationships as sacred spaces. Sometimes they see them as tools — something to adjust, display, or rearrange when it fits their own needs.
I heard one of those sentences today. It wasn’t cruel on the surface, but the intent behind it was clear. And in that moment, I felt the familiar pull — the temptation to let it stir anger, frustration, and the exhaustion of déjà vu.
But here’s the truth: not every word spoken to you is meant for you to keep. Some words are better left exactly where they fall. I chose to leave those words behind today. Not slamming the door, not starting a war — simply refusing to give them a place in my heart.
And then, the day shifted.
I ended it with one of the few men I know I can always rely on — my son. His beautiful wife, the daughter I never had, filled the kitchen with warmth as she cooked a delicious dinner. Meanwhile, my son and I tackled the pool equipment at the New Mexico house — a.k.a. the “Fortress.” What was supposed to be a simple job turned into hours of patience-testing problem solving, ending with me absolutely covered in stagnant skimmer and drain water. My son found this hilarious. I found it grounding.
Because sometimes, life’s balance is restored not by the big victories, but by the small, everyday moments — the laughter, the teamwork, and the people who remind you why you keep showing up for the fight.
“At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets.” – Steve Maraboli
Daily Reflection Prompt:
When was the last time you chose not to hold onto someone’s words? What or who helped you feel grounded again afterward?
🎵 Spotify Pairing: “Keep Your Head Up” – Ben Howardhttps://open.spotify.com/search/%20%22Keep%20Your%20Head%20Up%22%20by%20Ben%20Howard
Closing Thought:
Today reminded me that I get to decide what I carry forward — and what I leave behind. And I will always carry the moments that keep my heart steady.
—Until tomorrow,
Stacey
🌿 Day 11 – When It’s Time to Move On
07 Aug 2025
Life has a way of showing us signs. Sometimes they’re subtle—a quiet feeling of restlessness, a thought that keeps whispering, “this isn’t where you’re meant to stay.” Other times, the signs are loud, sudden, and impossible to ignore. Whether it’s a friendship that’s grown distant, a relationship that’s no longer healthy, or a job that’s draining your spirit, there comes a moment when the only real choice is to move on.
Recognizing the Signs
Moving on isn’t always about anger or loss. Sometimes it’s simply about growth.
• You’ve outgrown the conversations, the space, or the energy.
• You feel more drained than inspired.
• You’re staying out of habit, fear, or obligation—not joy.
When those signs show up, they’re not failures. They’re invitations to choose yourself.
When You Can Plan the Exit
Planned goodbyes give you the gift of grace and preparation.
• Reflect: What is your why for moving on?
• Plan: Map your next steps—financially, emotionally, logistically.
• Close Well: Leave with gratitude, even if it’s just for the lessons learned.
When Life Decides For You
Sometimes we don’t get the luxury of planning. A breakup, a job loss, a betrayal—they can hit without warning. In those moments:
• Feel First: Let yourself grieve, cry, or even rage. Your emotions are valid.
• Anchor: Find small, grounding habits—morning coffee, a daily walk, a phone call to someone who cares.
• Remind Yourself: The ending was not the end of you.
Rebuilding the Plan
Once the dust settles, start to rebuild.
• Identify what you want more of and what you’ll never accept again.
My answers:
More of: respect, honesty, to be seen, to have my voice heard
Never accept: lying, cheating, lack of accountability, to not be a priority
• Write down three small, actionable steps toward your next chapter:
Steps:
Continue my blog as it is allowing me to heal by finding my voice
Give myself permission to say “NO”
Allow myself to “Feel”
Spotify Track – Let It Go by James Bay
https://open.spotify.com/track/13HVjjWUZFaWilh2QUJKsP
Closing Thought
Surround yourself with people and environments that pour into you, not drain you.
Every chapter—whether planned or unexpected—offers the same opportunity: to decide who you will be on the next page. Moving on isn’t giving up. It’s moving toward the life you’re meant to live.
—Stacey
Day 10: Still Not Free, But Still Moving Forward
💔 Day 10: Still Not Free, But Still Moving Forward
Today was supposed to bring closure — or at least a step closer. But like so many days in this process, I walked out of court with no final answers. Just another delay. Another appointment. Another holding pattern. Mediation. October. No resolution.
He still won’t agree to give me half of what *we* built together. Not what *he* built. What *we* built. With my love. My time. My sacrifices. My whole damn soul.
I’m not angry.
I’m not even sad anymore.
Just... disappointed.
Because at one point, he admitted it. That it was his fault. That he let people twist his mind, break our foundation, convince him to turn his back on me. He admitted it — and still, no apology that meant something. No restitution. Just avoidance and silence.
And yet...
Today someone read my blog and said it resonated.
*It helped.*
*It made her feel seen.*
And in that moment — all the legal chaos, the betrayal, the emotional exhaustion — it didn’t win. Because this voice, my story, is no longer just mine.
It’s reaching people. It’s creating something out of everything that tried to break me.
So no, I’m not free yet.
But I’m moving forward.
And *we're* doing something, aren’t we?
🎧 Today’s Soundtrack:
**“I’m Still Standing” – Elton John**
https://open.spotify.com/search/I%E2%80%99m%20Still%20Standing%E2%80%9D%20%E2%80%93%20Elton%20John
Because even on days where I feel like the system is holding me back… I’m still here. Still rising. Still *me.*
📣 If today’s post resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share this blog or leave a comment. Healing is always more powerful when we don’t do it alone.
—Still Me,
Stacey
Day 9: Was the Wine Guy Flirting…? Asking for a Friend (a 55-Year-Old One)
Date: August 06, 2025
Author: Stacey Sylvester-Carter
Some stories don’t come with a moral. Some stories just come with a smile—and maybe a bottle of bad orange wine.
A few weeks ago, I was home in New York and made a pitstop at a local wine and liquor shop with my friend Liz. We were standing there, studying the shelves like we were about to sit for an exam on wine varietals, when 'The Wine Guy' appeared. You know the type—confident, friendly, and mildly mysterious. He asked if we needed help, and we pointed to a bottle of orange wine we were considering.
He admitted he hadn’t tried it and didn’t know anyone who had. I decided to buy it anyway and he told me to make sure I let him know how it was. It was a casual exchange. I thought nothing of it.
But then, as I was at the counter checking out, he reappeared—out of nowhere—just over my left shoulder. He gave me a discount, smiled, and said again, 'Let me know how that orange wine is.'
According to Liz, his tone, body language, and entire energy were *flirt central*. Me? I’m 55 and apparently completely oblivious to flirting unless someone literally hands me a card that says, 'Hi, I am flirting with you.'
I later posted in the local Facebook group to tell the anonymous Wine Guy: definitely do *not* recommend the orange wine. (It was a hard no.) And just like that, I’m probably never going to see him again.
But here’s the thing: That five-minute exchange? It mattered.
It was one of those nights where I needed to feel something good. To laugh. To smile. To feel seen. Not by a man. Just... by life. And even though I still have no clue if he was flirting or just doing his job with flair, I walked out of that store lighter.
I’m eight months separated now. I don’t really know how to 'start again.' The thought of dating is… strange. Weird. Uncomfortable. I don’t even know what the rules are anymore. Am I supposed to download an app? Do people still meet in person? And if someone *was* flirting with me, would I even recognize it before they walked away?
The girls at work loved this story. They said it should be a blog post. So here it is: Stacey, at 55, unsure if the Wine Guy was flirting, unsure if she’s ready to flirt back, and learning that sometimes, a smile from a stranger is enough for one evening.
Maybe the real message isn’t about dating or decoding signals or second chances. Maybe it’s just this: We’re allowed to feel good again. To let joy sneak in through unexpected moments. To laugh with a friend over a bad bottle of wine. To notice someone noticing us, even if we don’t quite know what to do with it yet.
🎵 Spotify Pairing: “Good Kisser” by Lake Street Dive
Good Kisser • Lake Street Dive
One day, maybe I’ll be ready. Maybe I’ll flirt back. But for now? I’m just grateful for the smile.
And no, seriously… skip the orange wine.
“Because every chapter counts — even the ones that smell like orange wine.”
— Stacey